


don't leave me

by breathingdestiel



Series: tumblr challenges [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Drinking, Established Relationship, M/M, Sad Dean, Self-Esteem Issues, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 12:16:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10990773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingdestiel/pseuds/breathingdestiel
Summary: Dean is a mess after Cas left him. And it's all his fault.Written for fandomwritingchallenge. Prompt: socks.





	don't leave me

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd.

The door slams shut behind him as he enters his empty apartment. And it’s not just a lack of a person that makes it empty. No. It’s the lack of an old coat on the hook in the hallway and blue mug with a drawing of a small kitten on the kitchen counter, or no books on the shelves, no clothes in the closet, no toothbrush, no shoes and ugly purple slippers, no ten-year-old laptop with a small bee sticker on it, no… There is nothing. Cas is really gone.

Dean sighs and rubs his eyes. He’s always known he would fuck up eventually, but he didn’t expect it would hurt so bad.

Even though he was already tipsy, he goes straight to the liquor cabinet and grabs the bottle of whiskey. He settles in his too-big bed and drinks.

And he drinks and drinks and drinks, but it doesn’t help him forget the color of Cas’s eyes, or the look on his face when Dean told he doesn’t love him.

Dean Winchester is a liar, but this lie was the biggest he’s ever said. He was angry, but that was not an excuse. And now he’s paying the price. Cas is gone.  

The phone rings. It’s probably Sammy, worried and with a comforting speech lined up. Dean doesn’t answer.

It was such a stupid fight. He doesn’t remember how it started, but, oh boy, does he remember how it ended.

A loud sob wrenches out of him, making him flinch. It seems he’s back at crying. Great.

He drops the empty bottle on the floor and burrows his head in Cas’ pillow. It smells like him, but barely. It will wear off in a day or two.

“Cas,” Dean whispers, “Cas, Cas, Cas.” He says his name like a prayer, like it would somehow summon him here, like it would fix everything.

The tears won’t stop and he’s shaking. Only a week ago they were lying in this very bed and cuddling and talking about the future. They were supposed to be together in that future.

It must be hours later that he finally gets up. But only because his bladder is full.

The clock says that it’s three a.m., so he decides to watch some trash TV show. As he makes himself comfortable on the old lumpy couch, he notices something behind one of the cushions.

It’s a sock. A regular, black sock.

He remembers now. How it started. Cas always left his dirty socks all around the apartment. Dean always complained about it. Usually, it would end with Cas rolling his eyes and taking the socks to the laundry hamper. This time, though, it has escalated and ended with Cas leaving.

Dean wants to cry again, but every bit of energy he had in his body has now evaporated, so he just sits there, in the dark, clutching the dirty sock.

There has to be something he can do. He has to get Cas back.

In a minute, he gets dressed and finds himself on the way to Gabriel’s house where Cas is most likely staying.

He will get his angel back.

 

* * *

 

“What do you want, Dean?”

Cas looks so beautiful and Dean is so distracted that it takes him a moment to realize that Cas has asked him a question.

“I want you, Cas. I’m so sorry. Please, come home. I didn’t mean-”

Whatever Dean expected would happen, Cas laughing in his face wasn’t it.

Stupefied, he stands there while Cas grins like Dean has told him the best fucking joke in the world.

“Cas?” He asks, uncertain.

“Are you serious, Dean?” Cas leans casually against the door and crosses his arms. “Do you really think I want to be with you? I was just waiting for an opportunity to leave. You’re so pathetic if you think you deserve me. You’re worthless, Dean. No one wants you, especially not me.”

At that moment, Dean feels like he was both hit by a truck and pushed off a cliff. His chest feels empty and his legs can’t hold him up anymore. He can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, he can’t breathe…

 

* * *

 

“Dean, Dean, wake up, Dean.”

Something is shaking him, but he can’t see what it is. “What?” Dean opens his eyes and meets a concerned look. _Cas’s_ look. “What?” He repeats, confused and lost.

“Dean. You had a nightmare, you were crying and calling my name,” Cas says. “It’s okay, I’m here.”

A dream. It was just a dream. Dean lets out a long, relieved sigh while his eyes dart all over Cas’s face and body as to make sure Cas is real.   

“Cas, I’m so sorry,” Dean says and throws his arms around his boyfriend. “You were gone. I was so stupid. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Dean, please, calm down. It was just a dream. I’m here and I’ll never leave you.”

“You can’t know that. What if you get sick of me, or I do or say something and-”

“Dean Winchester, look at me,” Cas says, his voice grave and stern. Dean looks up at him and shivers under the unwavering gaze. “I love you. You are amazing and beautiful and giving and caring and funny and smart and everything I want. Do you understand me, Dean? I will never leave you.”

Unable to speak, Dean nods and hesitantly presses his lips against Cas’s. 

“I love you too,” he says once they have pulled apart. “I love you so damn much.”

They sit in silence for several minutes, holding each other, their fingers caressing each other’s skin.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you about your socks.” Dean says after a while.

“My socks?”

“Yeah, I won’t do it again. You can leave them wherever you want. Except maybe the kitchen. We eat there.”

Cas lets out a small laugh, “Were you dreaming about my socks?”

“Kinda.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that. I promise I won’t leave them around anymore, okay?”

Dean nods again and, closing his eyes, he smiles. Everything is okay. Cas is here. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos or comment if you liked it. Or check out my [tumblr](http://breathingdestiel.tumblr.com/).


End file.
